I really like the style of your blog. I am one for a minimalistic design, so I enjoy that your blog is super intuitive. Having your labels at the top on the sidebar makes it so easy to find what I am looking for. I think that it is red is both fun and very school spirited. Boomer Sooner!
I love your Storybook so far! First of all, the theme is so perfect! If mermaid made a website, and it would look like yours.
Also, I love your introduction! It felt so personal, and it was really cool to have the letter written to me, the reader. That's so creative! I think you did a great job of telling what your Storybook is about, and what we should expect from the stories. I also like how you had some merpeople lore included in it.
Although this is fiction, the way you wrote it made this feel real! If merpeople did exist, they would be facing the problems that you mentioned, such as pollution and such.
I also liked the images that you chose for the front page and the introduction. The picture of her journal was quite effective, it made we want to look inside! (And I am assuming that will be just what we get to do!
I am really looking forward to your stories, and seeing what the merpeople have to say. Great job!
The style of your blog is fantastic! I really like how it pulls the reader into your theme. The colors of blue reflect the water and bring us into the mermaid world. Your picture was a great choice and also does the same.
It was also easy to read your introduction, which I appreciate. The colors worked well with the eye and the spacing allowed for great organization. Sometimes it can be difficult to read stories on a computer screen, but yours wasn't difficult to read at all.
Your writing style was also wonderful. It kept me entertained the entire time. I never wanted to stop reading and I still want to know what comes next! The diary entry is the same style that I am writing in, so it was cool to see someone else's approach to the same style.
Overall, great job. I can't wait to read more of your stories, especially in this storybook!
Hello Kristin, I chose your storybook because I felt the title had me asking what kind of tales could be told and I was not disappointed. When I entered your site and saw the photo of the mermaids I immediately felt as if I was immersed in an underwater world. Everything about your storybook layout fits perfectly with this title. When I was reading your introduction you did a great job at leaving me with so many questions that I want answered. What could have happened to the author of this journal? I hope we get to find out. I really like how you incorporated the destruction of man on earth and the fear that merpeople feel towards our destructive species. This makes the tale feel so realistic, because we are the only species on the planet that has caused so many extinctions that it feels our only role on the planet is to destroy. I do have one recommendation for your introduction. If you could find a way to throw in a description and even picture of Nerissa so that the reader can paint a picture in their mind easier that would be fantastic. I don't know where you could throw this in unless you just do it in the first paragraph when she talks about herself. For example, what color is her tail, skin, or hair? This makes it possible for every reader to see the story in the same visual perspective. However, this was fantastic!
I can't wait to read your storybook! Your introduction does a great job of drawing the reader in. Mermaids make for fascinating subject matter and the way you tied it into real world problems really engages the reader. I can’t wait to see how you interweave these historic folktales with modern issues such as global warming or pollution.
Using the diary style coupled with dramatic foreboding helps the reader identify and connect with the main character. The reader can’t help but sympathize with Nerissa for her selfless sacrifice in pursuit of harmony for her people. I’m very curious about what may have happened to her and can’t wait to read more.
I also wondered what Nerissa’s plan was to communicate the knowledge in her journal to humans. Did she plan to abandon is near the shore or slip it into a landing craft or lifeboat? Or did she plan to present herself and speak? It’s serendipitous that we humans are reading it now, but what was her plan before something terrible happened to her? It’s almost like she planned it to happen this way. The opening line, “To whomever it may concern,” doesn’t seem like the way your would start a story of your people or a diary. “Yours truly,” on the other hand, sounds much more personal.
I also look forward to learning about different “mermaid cultures” as is alluded to in your introduction. Will you be taking various mermaid tales from across the world to compose your storybook? I haven’t read much beyond The Little Mermaid so I’m really excited to hear more.
I love the colors and layout of your blog. It definitely inspires a marine vibe. Your cover image is also very beautiful and I think it conveys a lot of the beauty Nerissa was talking about in the journal entry. I had a little trouble reading your introduction because of the dark text color on the dark blue background but that may be because I am in a dark room.
Overall your introduction accomplished its most important goals. You introduced your characters and helped the reader identify with her and you roused my curiosity about the rest of your entries. Great job and I can’t wait to read more!
It's safe to say that I am excited to read your storybook! I love mermaids and aspire to be one. I was immediately drawn to the title to get started. My overall first impression was that I can see how all the blue could be under the water. The first picture has a lot of blue which allows it all to blend nicely on the page. It's not over powering or obnoxious. I like that you decided to make this a personal journal. I haven't seen a storybook written like that yet. One thing I'd point out would be the ending. The space between "yours truly" and "Nerissa." I think if you reduced the space or move Nerissa to the next line. It seems like that was what you were going for but instead it just spaced out. Other than that I think this is a wonderful idea and I can’t wait to see what you do.
Hi Kristin, Your description of the girl being scared of the intruder was so well told, I was a little scared. You did an awesome job. This is a such a cool idea. I really liked how you made a point to tell the differences between sirens and mermaids.Because many people assume they are the same thing. It was also great that you did not just say that they are different, you went into detail and told the history of their origins and what made them different. Siren can have such a negative connotation to it sometimes, so I think it was important that you differentiated the two.I really liked your images as well. I am so eager to read more!
I love mermaids so I knew I was going to like this storybook instantly! It definitely kept my attention the whole time, and that is something I enjoy when I am reading. Your introduction was interesting, I like how you made your stories into a book. To me it seems like it would be easier to write stories since its expected to be a book. The want for human and mermaids to work together is a good idea. The telling of how mermaids came to be was a good idea. Also letting people know they are not one in the same as sirens, because I have heard a lot of people think they are. Your site looked good, and the blue background made me think of water. The font is easy to read which is one of my favorite things in blogs to look at. I do think the picture on your introduction would look better if it was centered.
I love the look of your blog. The color scheme chosen definitely gives me that blue-y ocean-y feel. The image chosen for the main page is also beautiful and the colors blend in quite well with the background. For you introduction, I like that you chose to open it with a diary entry, just because it makes the story more personal and it piqued my interest right away. Your introduction also lays out your outline for this storybook well, without giving everything away. I also like that your first story focused on showing how sirens and mermaids were separate species through a story. Additionally, it was nice that you introduced some important figures in mermaid "history" in your first story. Great job!
One thing I would suggest is to use more punctuation in your writing since it seems like some of the sentences used have a few run-ons. This isn't a huge issue, but I think it would make it a little easier to read.
Your color scheme looks amazing and I think it will only add to the feel of your mermaid stories. After reading your introduction, I was very excited to read your first story and oh my gosh, was it good. First off, you clarifying the difference between sirens and mermaids helped me a lot when picturing the story in my mind. I love how the first mermaid was created due to the way she killed the one she loved. It is so tragic but an amazing way to kick off the mermaid species - it is also very Greek/Roman of you to tell it that way. I think you did a good job of establishing possible important figures/characters of your stories in the introduction and first story. Your author's note really helped me understand what was going on in the story or clarified anything I might have been confused about.
I like the way you broke up the story. It made it very easy to read. I look forward to seeing what your future stories tell us about mermaids!
As soon as I clicked on your Storybook link, I felt like I was in the ocean. I love your colors. It works very well with your theme. Your layout is also very simple which I love! I like that it is not super distracting. It helps me focus on your story and your writing. The only difficulty with your Storybook is the black writing on the dark blue background. It is not terrible, but it is more difficult to read than the rest of your font colors. I think your introduction felt very personal. Doing a diary was very different than what I have been seeing. Both your introduction and your story are very well written. Showing the difference of mermaid and sirens was great! I never really knew there was a difference so I learned something from your story! Thanks! Overall, I am very impressed with your Storybook! I look forward to coming back to read some more!
Kristin, I love your storybook! It is such a refreshing take on a mermaid story, and one that I hadn't thought of before. But it is such a cool idea to tell the story of mermaids by focusing on how different all of the origin stories from around the world are. And telling it from the perspective of a young girl traveling the world trying to find herself was a nice touch. But I really liked how you started it off with a little bit of suspense with the main character, it really brought me into the story and made me invested in finding out what is going to happen, or has happened, to the main character. Also, your whole storybook is really nicely put together. All of the colors are really well thought out and fit well with the theme of your story! Can't wait to read more!
Hey Kristin! I’m actually from the Indian Epics class, but I decided that I wanted to look at some of the stories in the Myth and Folklore class for some extra credit! As I was meandering through the storybook in your class, your storybook name caught my eye. I’ve always had a soft spot for mermaids, I knew they were always just misunderstood!! In light of that I’ve read through your storybook introduction and both of your stories.
So far I love the idea of educating mankind on what mermaids are really all about. I think it’s great the way you introduce the topic but don’t give away too much information about the subject just yet. In the first story I can appreciate that you wanted to do a creation story and honestly I’ve never heard of it. I’ve always prided myself on knowing a lot about western myths and folklore, but it seems I know only little bits and pieces.
I like the second storybook as well, it almost sounds quite similar to “The Little Mermaid” except without the love story and well much of that story. However your story does involve a witch, a sea-king, his daughter, and mankind saving the mermaids and mermen from the witch.I would take a close look at the first paragraph for some spelling mistakes and grammar and read out some of the lower paragraphs for more spelling errors. Great read though! I’m glad I got to read it!
I enjoyed the introduction to your story. I was interested to read the first story wondering how mermaids came about. It helped that you gave an explanation for the existence of the mermaids. However, I was confused about the significance of sirens. I am not familiar with the difference or even the existence of sirens. I think it would be best to clarify what they are and then move away from the subject and focus on mermaids if that is your subject of choice. I am interested to read about what happened to the storyteller and why she is now in trouble. Your author’s note was very explanatory. It helped me understand where you got your ideas from. I liked your layout. The blue background made me think of deep in the ocean where mermaids reside. Your font was easy to read and the pictures made a connection to the mythology used in your stories.
Hi Kristin, let me start by saying that your story book looks really good. as soon as i clicked the like i felt as though i dove in to the ocean. after reading your introduction i became very excited to read your stories because i know nothing about mermaids. well i mean i know that they are half fish half human but i dont know anything about their origin. I also wonder if we will find out what happens to the narrator. I really liked that you started off by telling us the difference between the two. not only does this help us understand but i also thing it makes your charter feel more real. Oh man i cant believe she killed him!?! I liked the way that you told this and give us some back ground on how and why she killed him but also that she was a good person.
I enjoyed reading your work! I’m from the Indian Epics class, so take my comments lightly (considering I know nothing about Mythology.) I found the lack of contrast between the background and font color to be a problem. It definitely made it hard for me to read. Maybe stick to that bright blue that is used for the titles and use it on the text section also. I did find your introduction to be interesting. It covered all of the questions someone may have for a mermaid, and even went into a little bit of what would be mermaid politics (i.e. the humans pollute their world). I wonder how the journal has stayed readable after being in the water for so long! I really thought it was clever that you juxtaposed the mermaid and the siren. I assume that it would be a hurtful thing to tell a mermaid that you thought she was a siren. Your origins story was quite sad! She would have had to be very afraid in order to mistake her love for an intruder.
As soon as I saw the assignment for the project feedback I knew that I had to go back and see what you have done so far on your blog! And I was glad to see that you had added another story just as good as the first. I still really love the perspective and narrative style of your storybook, and this second story really aligns well with your intro and the first. It's so cool to see all of the mermaid origin myths presented in such a way! Just so you know though, in your first paragraph there are a few spacing issues, so you might just want to lightly look through it again! Great job! I'm sure I'll be back.
Hi Kristin! I had to come and see what your storybook is all about because it caught my attention being about Mermaids. I love the background and theme of course. I agree with your points on making sure to separate Sirens from Mermaids in the origins part of the storyline. It gives you a unique way to clarify what Mermaids are and what they aren't. A very clever way to use description. I really like how you used the story of Demeter and Persephone to seamlessly tie into your storyline of the Mermaids. I really enjoyed your story! It has all kinds of elements to it, like the love story, tragedy, mythology, biographical, and more. It was fun and entertaining. I like the choice for your image you chose. It really ties it all together nicely. I really liked the part of your story where Demeter turns her friends into birds. I like this element of shapeshifting and I have used it in my stories. I think I will mention in my next story that it was Demeter that caused all their mess.
I got to read through your storybook a little bit ago and decided to revisit it this week. It's as great as I remember it being! Fantastic storytelling. And your most recent story is also just as wonderful as your first and kept my interest the entire time. One thing I'd maybe think about changing is the font color of your story. The dark blue background with the black words made it a little difficult for me to read on my computer screen. Maybe a light blue or a white for the text would be better and still go with your wonderful theme. The words themselves were great and creative, though! Keep up the great work. I always enjoy reading your stories and I can't wait to revisit your storybook when it's completely finished in a few weeks when the semester is over. Good luck with the rest of your year!
I think I have said this before but great job on the background and colors of your storybook. This really sets the tone and the ambiance of what we are going to be reading about. I read Mermaid Origins and the introduction paragraph really pulled me in even more. I loved reading about the backgrounds of the mermaids and the sirens. It’s crazy how many stories there are about mermaids and sirens and how different each and every one of them are. The story flows very well from paragraph to paragraph so great job on transitions and keeping your thoughts in separate paragraphs. I know this was just a little background story of the creation of mermaids and more stories from their mythology and ancient times but I am really excited to read more stories from you about the lives of the mermaids and sirens after they populate more. I would also love to read some stories about mermaids in present times.
I had read your introduction and first story, so I came back to read the second story. Witches, merpeople, and fairies--OH MY! I liked your Storybook already because the merpeople were in it, but the addition of other magical creatures made this such an awesome story! I can't wait to see what oher creatures that you will add!
I liked how you started out with a basic summary of your story, it was very effective!
I also liked how the story revolved around the magical item: the belt.
I think it would read better if you separating the paragraphs more. Seperate paragraphs into smaller chunks, with each chunk having similar topics. That can be a style choice, so it that's now your thing--that's fine. I just find it makes stories easier to read.
Hi Kristin, I cannot believe I have never came across your storybook yet. I think it is really wonderful and you have done a great job executing your vision. I love the serene blue colors you used as your color palette. It definitely reminds me of the waters in which mermaids reside in. The image you used on your cover page was also really pretty. I like how everything in the background blends in and the mermaid in the foreground is in color. I think the idea of your introduction was a really nice touch. Explaining the origin of mermaids really tells the reader their backstory and gains the trust of the readers. Gets them invested in the story. I have to agree that the black font with the blue background was a little hard to read. However, that is my only critique for I think you did a great job with your writing. I cannot wait to see the finished product.
A Tale From Wales Kristin, The assignment was to review the ones we have previously read before. I chose yours because I had to know what the mermaid was up to. I noticed that your story could use a comma every now and then. That's an easy fix, but it'll make the story flow much easier. I would suggest considering changing the text color. The dark text makes it a little harder to read on the darker background. Other than that the lay out is still great. I am interested to see what else the mermaid will learn. I hope she finds what she is looking for. I will be back for more stories in the future!
The assignment was to come back to previously visited storybooks, so I decided to come back to yours. I have not read your since you posted your introduction until today! I am so glad I did! I absolutely love your stories! I thought it was going to be all about mermaids, but I love that you involved other creatures as well! Your stories are very well written, however, they are little difficult to read. I find it easier on the eyes to have the stories split into smaller paragraphs or smaller chunks. It makes the reader feel as if the story is shorter. I feel as if your introduction really helps introduce how your stories are going to develop! I think you have done a great job on this storybook! I am looking forward to coming back and reading more in the last few weeks of this class! Good job Kristin!
This week we were assigned to go back and re-visit a project that we had visited in the past. I decided to come back to yours. Last time I had come to your project it was in its initial steps and it was not ready to go as an Introduction was not published yet. However, I knew that I was intrigued and I wanted to go back to it and see what it was all about. I am so glad that I did! You now have two stories there and a great Introduction. This week I read about the magical belt and the merman. This was such an interesting story! You did a great job on it and I do not really have anything to point out other than the fact that I did wish that there were some dialogue so that we could get a better in depth dimension into what was going on in the story. Other than that, what an excellent project!
I chose to come back to your storytelling site as one of my extra credit this week. I weirdly feel like I have monthly check-ins with your website. It is truly that good. Then again, I've always loved mermaids!
I think your storybook is developing wonderfully. I have but a few grammatical comments on your latest story. The most noticeable one to me was that there needs to be a space between the second and the third sentence in your first paragraph. I agree with Michelle that a few sentences could use a comma, but I still think the story as a whole reads pretty well.
This is an excellent storybook you have created. You're doing a good job and I look forward to seeing where the next mermaid tale takes us!
The Little Mermaid, I chose your story book this week because I remember your first and it was great. Plus my love for mermaids has be coming back. Ahh a cliff hanger. So cruel but it does the job well. I want to continue reading. I'm a sucker for cliff hanger. Your smaller paragraphs were easy to read. The dark text with the dark background is somewhat hard to see. It almost blends in. Other than that I didn't really notice anything else. The picture you chose is so similar to the Disney Ariel. I love the Little Mermaid. Great idea separating the story because I saw it was so long but you also get the most out of the story. This was a great story!! Good job!!
Hi Kristen,
ReplyDeleteI really like the style of your blog. I am one for a minimalistic design, so I enjoy that your blog is super intuitive. Having your labels at the top on the sidebar makes it so easy to find what I am looking for. I think that it is red is both fun and very school spirited. Boomer Sooner!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI love your Storybook so far! First of all, the theme is so perfect! If mermaid made a website, and it would look like yours.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I love your introduction! It felt so personal, and it was really cool to have the letter written to me, the reader. That's so creative! I think you did a great job of telling what your Storybook is about, and what we should expect from the stories. I also like how you had some merpeople lore included in it.
Although this is fiction, the way you wrote it made this feel real! If merpeople did exist, they would be facing the problems that you mentioned, such as pollution and such.
I also liked the images that you chose for the front page and the introduction. The picture of her journal was quite effective, it made we want to look inside! (And I am assuming that will be just what we get to do!
I am really looking forward to your stories, and seeing what the merpeople have to say. Great job!
Hi Kristen,
ReplyDeleteThe style of your blog is fantastic!
I really like how it pulls the reader into your theme.
The colors of blue reflect the water and bring us into the mermaid world. Your picture was a great choice and also does the same.
It was also easy to read your introduction, which I appreciate. The colors worked well with the eye and the spacing allowed for great organization. Sometimes it can be difficult to read stories on a computer screen, but yours wasn't difficult to read at all.
Your writing style was also wonderful. It kept me entertained the entire time. I never wanted to stop reading and I still want to know what comes next!
The diary entry is the same style that I am writing in, so it was cool to see someone else's approach to the same style.
Overall, great job. I can't wait to read more of your stories, especially in this storybook!
Hello Kristin,
ReplyDeleteI chose your storybook because I felt the title had me asking what kind of tales could be told and I was not disappointed. When I entered your site and saw the photo of the mermaids I immediately felt as if I was immersed in an underwater world. Everything about your storybook layout fits perfectly with this title. When I was reading your introduction you did a great job at leaving me with so many questions that I want answered. What could have happened to the author of this journal? I hope we get to find out. I really like how you incorporated the destruction of man on earth and the fear that merpeople feel towards our destructive species. This makes the tale feel so realistic, because we are the only species on the planet that has caused so many extinctions that it feels our only role on the planet is to destroy. I do have one recommendation for your introduction. If you could find a way to throw in a description and even picture of Nerissa so that the reader can paint a picture in their mind easier that would be fantastic. I don't know where you could throw this in unless you just do it in the first paragraph when she talks about herself. For example, what color is her tail, skin, or hair? This makes it possible for every reader to see the story in the same visual perspective. However, this was fantastic!
Hi Kristin,
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to read your storybook! Your introduction does a great job of drawing the reader in. Mermaids make for fascinating subject matter and the way you tied it into real world problems really engages the reader. I can’t wait to see how you interweave these historic folktales with modern issues such as global warming or pollution.
Using the diary style coupled with dramatic foreboding helps the reader identify and connect with the main character. The reader can’t help but sympathize with Nerissa for her selfless sacrifice in pursuit of harmony for her people. I’m very curious about what may have happened to her and can’t wait to read more.
I also wondered what Nerissa’s plan was to communicate the knowledge in her journal to humans. Did she plan to abandon is near the shore or slip it into a landing craft or lifeboat? Or did she plan to present herself and speak? It’s serendipitous that we humans are reading it now, but what was her plan before something terrible happened to her? It’s almost like she planned it to happen this way. The opening line, “To whomever it may concern,” doesn’t seem like the way your would start a story of your people or a diary. “Yours truly,” on the other hand, sounds much more personal.
I also look forward to learning about different “mermaid cultures” as is alluded to in your introduction. Will you be taking various mermaid tales from across the world to compose your storybook? I haven’t read much beyond The Little Mermaid so I’m really excited to hear more.
I love the colors and layout of your blog. It definitely inspires a marine vibe. Your cover image is also very beautiful and I think it conveys a lot of the beauty Nerissa was talking about in the journal entry. I had a little trouble reading your introduction because of the dark text color on the dark blue background but that may be because I am in a dark room.
Overall your introduction accomplished its most important goals. You introduced your characters and helped the reader identify with her and you roused my curiosity about the rest of your entries. Great job and I can’t wait to read more!
It's safe to say that I am excited to read your storybook! I love mermaids and aspire to be one. I was immediately drawn to the title to get started. My overall first impression was that I can see how all the blue could be under the water. The first picture has a lot of blue which allows it all to blend nicely on the page. It's not over powering or obnoxious. I like that you decided to make this a personal journal. I haven't seen a storybook written like that yet. One thing I'd point out would be the ending. The space between "yours truly" and "Nerissa." I think if you reduced the space or move Nerissa to the next line. It seems like that was what you were going for but instead it just spaced out. Other than that I think this is a wonderful idea and I can’t wait to see what you do.
ReplyDeleteHi Kristin,
ReplyDeleteYour description of the girl being scared of the intruder was so well told, I was a little scared. You did an awesome job. This is a such a cool idea. I really liked how you made a point to tell the differences between sirens and mermaids.Because many people assume they are the same thing. It was also great that you did not just say that they are different, you went into detail and told the history of their origins and what made them different. Siren can have such a negative connotation to it sometimes, so I think it was important that you differentiated the two.I really liked your images as well. I am so eager to read more!
I love mermaids so I knew I was going to like this storybook instantly! It definitely kept my attention the whole time, and that is something I enjoy when I am reading. Your introduction was interesting, I like how you made your stories into a book. To me it seems like it would be easier to write stories since its expected to be a book. The want for human and mermaids to work together is a good idea. The telling of how mermaids came to be was a good idea. Also letting people know they are not one in the same as sirens, because I have heard a lot of people think they are. Your site looked good, and the blue background made me think of water. The font is easy to read which is one of my favorite things in blogs to look at. I do think the picture on your introduction would look better if it was centered.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Kristen!
DeleteI love the look of your blog. The color scheme chosen definitely gives me that blue-y ocean-y feel. The image chosen for the main page is also beautiful and the colors blend in quite well with the background. For you introduction, I like that you chose to open it with a diary entry, just because it makes the story more personal and it piqued my interest right away. Your introduction also lays out your outline for this storybook well, without giving everything away. I also like that your first story focused on showing how sirens and mermaids were separate species through a story. Additionally, it was nice that you introduced some important figures in mermaid "history" in your first story. Great job!
One thing I would suggest is to use more punctuation in your writing since it seems like some of the sentences used have a few run-ons. This isn't a huge issue, but I think it would make it a little easier to read.
Hi Kristen!
ReplyDeleteYour color scheme looks amazing and I think it will only add to the feel of your mermaid stories. After reading your introduction, I was very excited to read your first story and oh my gosh, was it good. First off, you clarifying the difference between sirens and mermaids helped me a lot when picturing the story in my mind. I love how the first mermaid was created due to the way she killed the one she loved. It is so tragic but an amazing way to kick off the mermaid species - it is also very Greek/Roman of you to tell it that way. I think you did a good job of establishing possible important figures/characters of your stories in the introduction and first story. Your author's note really helped me understand what was going on in the story or clarified anything I might have been confused about.
I like the way you broke up the story. It made it very easy to read. I look forward to seeing what your future stories tell us about mermaids!
As soon as I clicked on your Storybook link, I felt like I was in the ocean. I love your colors. It works very well with your theme.
ReplyDeleteYour layout is also very simple which I love! I like that it is not super distracting. It helps me focus on your story and your writing.
The only difficulty with your Storybook is the black writing on the dark blue background. It is not terrible, but it is more difficult to read than the rest of your font colors.
I think your introduction felt very personal. Doing a diary was very different than what I have been seeing.
Both your introduction and your story are very well written. Showing the difference of mermaid and sirens was great! I never really knew there was a difference so I learned something from your story! Thanks!
Overall, I am very impressed with your Storybook! I look forward to coming back to read some more!
Kristin, I love your storybook! It is such a refreshing take on a mermaid story, and one that I hadn't thought of before. But it is such a cool idea to tell the story of mermaids by focusing on how different all of the origin stories from around the world are. And telling it from the perspective of a young girl traveling the world trying to find herself was a nice touch. But I really liked how you started it off with a little bit of suspense with the main character, it really brought me into the story and made me invested in finding out what is going to happen, or has happened, to the main character.
ReplyDeleteAlso, your whole storybook is really nicely put together. All of the colors are really well thought out and fit well with the theme of your story! Can't wait to read more!
Hey Kristin! I’m actually from the Indian Epics class, but I decided that I wanted to look at some of the stories in the Myth and Folklore class for some extra credit! As I was meandering through the storybook in your class, your storybook name caught my eye. I’ve always had a soft spot for mermaids, I knew they were always just misunderstood!! In light of that I’ve read through your storybook introduction and both of your stories.
ReplyDeleteSo far I love the idea of educating mankind on what mermaids are really all about. I think it’s great the way you introduce the topic but don’t give away too much information about the subject just yet. In the first story I can appreciate that you wanted to do a creation story and honestly I’ve never heard of it. I’ve always prided myself on knowing a lot about western myths and folklore, but it seems I know only little bits and pieces.
I like the second storybook as well, it almost sounds quite similar to “The Little Mermaid” except without the love story and well much of that story. However your story does involve a witch, a sea-king, his daughter, and mankind saving the mermaids and mermen from the witch.I would take a close look at the first paragraph for some spelling mistakes and grammar and read out some of the lower paragraphs for more spelling errors. Great read though! I’m glad I got to read it!
I enjoyed the introduction to your story. I was interested to read the first story wondering how mermaids came about. It helped that you gave an explanation for the existence of the mermaids. However, I was confused about the significance of sirens. I am not familiar with the difference or even the existence of sirens. I think it would be best to clarify what they are and then move away from the subject and focus on mermaids if that is your subject of choice.
ReplyDeleteI am interested to read about what happened to the storyteller and why she is now in trouble.
Your author’s note was very explanatory. It helped me understand where you got your ideas from.
I liked your layout. The blue background made me think of deep in the ocean where mermaids reside. Your font was easy to read and the pictures made a connection to the mythology used in your stories.
Hi Kristin,
ReplyDeletelet me start by saying that your story book looks really good. as soon as i clicked the like i felt as though i dove in to the ocean. after reading your introduction i became very excited to read your stories because i know nothing about mermaids. well i mean i know that they are half fish half human but i dont know anything about their origin. I also wonder if we will find out what happens to the narrator. I really liked that you started off by telling us the difference between the two. not only does this help us understand but i also thing it makes your charter feel more real. Oh man i cant believe she killed him!?! I liked the way that you told this and give us some back ground on how and why she killed him but also that she was a good person.
I enjoyed reading your work! I’m from the Indian Epics class, so take my comments lightly (considering I know nothing about Mythology.)
ReplyDeleteI found the lack of contrast between the background and font color to be a problem. It definitely made it hard for me to read. Maybe stick to that bright blue that is used for the titles and use it on the text section also. I did find your introduction to be interesting. It covered all of the questions someone may have for a mermaid, and even went into a little bit of what would be mermaid politics (i.e. the humans pollute their world). I wonder how the journal has stayed readable after being in the water for so long!
I really thought it was clever that you juxtaposed the mermaid and the siren. I assume that it would be a hurtful thing to tell a mermaid that you thought she was a siren. Your origins story was quite sad! She would have had to be very afraid in order to mistake her love for an intruder.
As soon as I saw the assignment for the project feedback I knew that I had to go back and see what you have done so far on your blog! And I was glad to see that you had added another story just as good as the first. I still really love the perspective and narrative style of your storybook, and this second story really aligns well with your intro and the first. It's so cool to see all of the mermaid origin myths presented in such a way! Just so you know though, in your first paragraph there are a few spacing issues, so you might just want to lightly look through it again! Great job! I'm sure I'll be back.
ReplyDeleteHi Kristin!
ReplyDeleteI had to come and see what your storybook is all about because it caught my attention being about Mermaids. I love the background and theme of course. I agree with your points on making sure to separate Sirens from Mermaids in the origins part of the storyline. It gives you a unique way to clarify what Mermaids are and what they aren't. A very clever way to use description. I really like how you used the story of Demeter and Persephone to seamlessly tie into your storyline of the Mermaids. I really enjoyed your story! It has all kinds of elements to it, like the love story, tragedy, mythology, biographical, and more. It was fun and entertaining. I like the choice for your image you chose. It really ties it all together nicely. I really liked the part of your story where Demeter turns her friends into birds. I like this element of shapeshifting and I have used it in my stories. I think I will mention in my next story that it was Demeter that caused all their mess.
Hey again, Kristin!
ReplyDeleteI got to read through your storybook a little bit ago and decided to revisit it this week. It's as great as I remember it being! Fantastic storytelling. And your most recent story is also just as wonderful as your first and kept my interest the entire time.
One thing I'd maybe think about changing is the font color of your story. The dark blue background with the black words made it a little difficult for me to read on my computer screen. Maybe a light blue or a white for the text would be better and still go with your wonderful theme. The words themselves were great and creative, though!
Keep up the great work. I always enjoy reading your stories and I can't wait to revisit your storybook when it's completely finished in a few weeks when the semester is over. Good luck with the rest of your year!
Hey Kristin!
ReplyDeleteI think I have said this before but great job on the background and colors of your storybook. This really sets the tone and the ambiance of what we are going to be reading about. I read Mermaid Origins and the introduction paragraph really pulled me in even more. I loved reading about the backgrounds of the mermaids and the sirens. It’s crazy how many stories there are about mermaids and sirens and how different each and every one of them are. The story flows very well from paragraph to paragraph so great job on transitions and keeping your thoughts in separate paragraphs. I know this was just a little background story of the creation of mermaids and more stories from their mythology and ancient times but I am really excited to read more stories from you about the lives of the mermaids and sirens after they populate more. I would also love to read some stories about mermaids in present times.
I had read your introduction and first story, so I came back to read the second story. Witches, merpeople, and fairies--OH MY! I liked your Storybook already because the merpeople were in it, but the addition of other magical creatures made this such an awesome story! I can't wait to see what oher creatures that you will add!
ReplyDeleteI liked how you started out with a basic summary of your story, it was very effective!
I also liked how the story revolved around the magical item: the belt.
I think it would read better if you separating the paragraphs more. Seperate paragraphs into smaller chunks, with each chunk having similar topics. That can be a style choice, so it that's now your thing--that's fine. I just find it makes stories easier to read.
Hi Kristin,
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe I have never came across your storybook yet. I think it is really wonderful and you have done a great job executing your vision. I love the serene blue colors you used as your color palette. It definitely reminds me of the waters in which mermaids reside in. The image you used on your cover page was also really pretty. I like how everything in the background blends in and the mermaid in the foreground is in color. I think the idea of your introduction was a really nice touch. Explaining the origin of mermaids really tells the reader their backstory and gains the trust of the readers. Gets them invested in the story. I have to agree that the black font with the blue background was a little hard to read. However, that is my only critique for I think you did a great job with your writing. I cannot wait to see the finished product.
A Tale From Wales
ReplyDeleteKristin,
The assignment was to review the ones we have previously read before. I chose yours because I had to know what the mermaid was up to. I noticed that your story could use a comma every now and then. That's an easy fix, but it'll make the story flow much easier. I would suggest considering changing the text color. The dark text makes it a little harder to read on the darker background. Other than that the lay out is still great. I am interested to see what else the mermaid will learn. I hope she finds what she is looking for. I will be back for more stories in the future!
The assignment was to come back to previously visited storybooks, so I decided to come back to yours. I have not read your since you posted your introduction until today! I am so glad I did!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love your stories! I thought it was going to be all about mermaids, but I love that you involved other creatures as well!
Your stories are very well written, however, they are little difficult to read. I find it easier on the eyes to have the stories split into smaller paragraphs or smaller chunks. It makes the reader feel as if the story is shorter.
I feel as if your introduction really helps introduce how your stories are going to develop! I think you have done a great job on this storybook! I am looking forward to coming back and reading more in the last few weeks of this class! Good job Kristin!
Hello,
ReplyDeleteThis week we were assigned to go back and re-visit a project that we had visited in the past. I decided to come back to yours. Last time I had come to your project it was in its initial steps and it was not ready to go as an Introduction was not published yet. However, I knew that I was intrigued and I wanted to go back to it and see what it was all about. I am so glad that I did! You now have two stories there and a great Introduction. This week I read about the magical belt and the merman. This was such an interesting story! You did a great job on it and I do not really have anything to point out other than the fact that I did wish that there were some dialogue so that we could get a better in depth dimension into what was going on in the story. Other than that, what an excellent project!
Hi Kristen,
ReplyDeleteI chose to come back to your storytelling site as one of my extra credit this week. I weirdly feel like I have monthly check-ins with your website. It is truly that good. Then again, I've always loved mermaids!
I think your storybook is developing wonderfully. I have but a few grammatical comments on your latest story. The most noticeable one to me was that there needs to be a space between the second and the third sentence in your first paragraph. I agree with Michelle that a few sentences could use a comma, but I still think the story as a whole reads pretty well.
This is an excellent storybook you have created. You're doing a good job and I look forward to seeing where the next mermaid tale takes us!
The Little Mermaid,
ReplyDeleteI chose your story book this week because I remember your first and it was great. Plus my love for mermaids has be coming back. Ahh a cliff hanger. So cruel but it does the job well. I want to continue reading. I'm a sucker for cliff hanger. Your smaller paragraphs were easy to read. The dark text with the dark background is somewhat hard to see. It almost blends in. Other than that I didn't really notice anything else. The picture you chose is so similar to the Disney Ariel. I love the Little Mermaid. Great idea separating the story because I saw it was so long but you also get the most out of the story. This was a great story!!
Good job!!