There was once an old man who had little to his name but he
was a good man. He lived his life to serve others but most importantly, God. Unfortunately,
the man’s health was quickly failing him. He went to his church and told the
pastor all about his troubles. He knew he did not have much time and was very
worried about his two boys. He raised them as best as he could but
unfortunately despite his best efforts, they weren’t very bright. They relied
upon their father and were very cautious of all other people.
The pastor met with the board members of the church after he
spoke with the old man. One member who was well endowed took pity upon the man
because he had done so much for the church. He took it upon himself to repay
the man for all of his kindness. He contacted the man and set up a time to meet
one evening. Things however, got worse for the old man. He knew he wasn’t going
to be able to make it to the meeting so he instructed his sons to meet on his behalf.
The two boys went to the location of the meeting as
instructed by their father. They were spooked by a figure approaching from the
shadows so one of them smashed a vase over his head. He was out cold and they
feared he was already dead. They went to their father with their news. In
anguish the old man realized the boys had killed the board member from church.
The shock overtook him and he quickly passed from a heart attack. Due to the
boys rash behavior they were subject to living a life of poverty for the
remainder of their days.
Author’s Note: This
is a more modern version of the story How Sickness Entered the World within the
Tejas Legends unit. In the original story there was no sickness in the world. A
medicine man knew it was his time to die and he was supposed to meet with a Messenger
from the Great Spirit. The Messenger was going to give the man a great deal of
information for the rest of mankind. Unfortunately, the medicine man was too
ill to make the meeting. He sent to boys in his place. The Messenger went to
the meeting in the form of a snake. This frightened the boys and they killed
the snake. They reported their actions to the medicine man and foolishly thought
nothing would happen to them if they left the carcass somewhere else. The mate
of the snake discovered what happened and laid eggs that released sickness
amongst all of the people. I wanted to put the story into a more modern
setting. Rather than being plagued with illness the two boys in my story will
be plagued with poverty.
I really like how you took the older myth version and turned it into a more modern version that today's society could relate to better. I think the kids and the church is a good twist from the medicine man and the boys. The story seemed to floe really well and I couldn't find much wrong with it. Your author's notes help to explain the differences.
ReplyDeleteYour author’s note was really helpful in letting the reader know how you changed the story and what the original was about. I really liked that you put it in a modern setting! You did a good job of sticking to the original story line, while still putting a new spin on it. I also liked that you mention right off the bat that the boys aren’t very bright—this gave me an expectation that they were going to do something stupid. Nicely done!
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